So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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