Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
