Can i not drive my cunt home
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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