I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
