oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
