I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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