I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
