He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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