You made me cry and you don't even care
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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