There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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