Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
