Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
