I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
