We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
