I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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