he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
