Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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