I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
