just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
