Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
