her vagine was all disorganized.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
