remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
