I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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