I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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