I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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