similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
