we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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