5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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