chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
