How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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