I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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