i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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