Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
3 2 1 whiskey
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
