that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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