It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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