Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
