I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize