It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
