CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
