it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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