i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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