I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
