PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
