Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize