Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
