why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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