I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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