I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
