dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Two words: blizzard sex
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
