You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
