allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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