is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
