is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How external is "for external use only"?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
