I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
