well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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