shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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