I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
