I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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