Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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