Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
