There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize