Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
