I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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