Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
