Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
